not yet

It's been a week since I've been back on the mainland.  My body has finally adjusted to the time zone although it's almost 2am and I'm still wide awake.  Part of me is just restless right now.  I leave for Seattle in two days, then Minnesota next week.  I haven't even gotten accustomed to SF yet.  Really, I'm not ready to leave Molokai yet.  

I have the same amount of time here in SF as I did in Molokai, yet I'm not connected to God the way I was on the island.  I don't awake to birds chirping.  Instead, I wake up to an impatient neighbor honking their horn for someone to come outside.  I don't see the blue ocean and green grass.  Instead, I have gray concrete and gray ocean because of the overcast.  

Gina, Kimi and I have found it hard to let go of Molokai.  The owner of the condo reminded me it was an island of refuge for the kings.  We keep watching videos and pouring over pictures, talking to our Molokai friends online or on the phone and listening to all the hawaiian music we can get our hands on.  We found refuge there and none of us can seem to let it go.

The trick is moving forward.  Not moving on.  I don't want to forget all that I experienced and learned from my time there.  I want to use all of that to push me forward into even greater experiences.  How do I love my friends and family better, with agape?  How do I love them with that same intensity and passion I had for my Molokai friends?  How do I take time to just hang out with God and let Him lavish His love on me?

How do you keep the Moses-like glow when all you see are people dancing around man-made gods?