Cool Job Opp

I really love good food and occasionally like good wine (I'm allergic so I don't drink often).  For now Chilean wines seem to be my favorite.  Okay okay, I've only tried an expensive bottle of Chilean Cab and a really cheap one ($3 at Trader Joe's) and I liked them both.  Of course the expensive one was better.  But if I were more of a wine connoisseur I would apply for this job

www.areallygoodejob.com

$10,000 a month and a free place to live for 6 months?  Too bad I'm allergic alcohol...

Smack down

You know how when you're shopping at a store, minding your own business, maybe wondering which shampoo will really give you more volume, you come across a sound so startling you almost drop that shampoo bottle?  It's the "I Wanna" kid.  The "I Wanna" kid has somehow fixated on something in the store and has decided that their life is not worth living without it.  Maybe they missed their nap or they're hungry, but for whatever reason I Wanna is on a mission and is determined to make it happen.

If I Wanna's mom has gone through this too many times to care, she will let I Wanna go on crying, maybe with a couple stern whispers in I Wanna's ear, "We're not doing this here.  Wait till we get home."  Or she may drag I Wanna across the store's floor as I Wanna is gripping her ankles in a full body plea, sweeping any dust bunnies in the way, in her own determination not to let her shopping mission be disrupted by I Wanna's mission.

My favorite is when I Wanna's mom ain't havin it.  She stops I Wanna dead in their tracks, squares herself up to I Wanna, gets in I Wanna's face and in a very certain and definitive manner says, "Stop right now.  Stop whining, stop crying, and straighten yourself up because your life is not about to end if things don't go your way."  I Wanna stops crying and breathes short and quick inward breaths as the remaining tears roll off or dry up on their face.  The crisis has been taken care of.

It's at this point that I take my purchases and move on to the next aisle because what I really want to do is a slow clap in admiration of I Wanna's mom who handled the situation so swiftly and confidently.

This is the manner that God handled me last Saturday morning.  I was at Lake Merced ready for our Fun Run to raise money for kids to attend camp this summer.  My hope and dream was that kids were able to raise hundreds of dollars from neighbors and friends and family.  I also hoped that we had other adults in the community who were so excited to help they also raised hundreds of dollars to help kids.  We were to start at 9am.

By 9:15 only one of my volunteers had shown up.  No kids, no adults, no money raised.  I proceeded to whine and complain.  I was angry and frustrated that no one had shown up.  I didn't know how else we were going to raise the 15K it takes to send 30 kids to camp.  I'm not gonna lie, I dropped a very well placed F-bomb in there somewhere and a couple other choice words in the midst of frustration.  

It was about this time God had had enough and got ready to lay the smack down on me.  The thing about God is that God can come in many different ways.  Today God sent KK.  KK was parked right next to my car.  She had just finished running the lake with her sister.  I was still dark and seething, but forced a smile to greet her.  Her energy and optimism melted my frustration as she offered to help with a spaghetti feed and a bake sale.  She started to list off all the other kind of fund raisers we could do.  With each fund raiser idea she listed off, I felt like I Wanna sniffing and slowly letting my anger go.  By the time she left, having promised to help, I hung my head low in shame.  Why was I whining?  Why was I so frustrated?  God is more invested in the kids than I am, of course God will make a way.  

I had experienced the equivalent of the supermarket smack down.  And you know what?  There wasn't any real reason for me to whine and complain.  My life was not going to end over that matter.  Although it wasn't an out and out spanking, God gently but firmly reminded me that when I think my world is in shambles, it might just be that I need to stop complaining and trust that God knows best.

Thing I like today:

• Trader Joe's gnocchi and gorgonzola
• Sparkling Pomegranate juice
• tart frozen yogurt with fresh strawberries and dark chocolate chips
• same as above, but blended into a smoothie
• the 3 year old at TJ's pushing a little shopping cart, heading to the back of the store saying over and over to his dad, "I need a sample.  I need a sample.  I need a sample"
• Drumstick ice cream
• the "Lose It" app on my IPhone.
• The fact that I saw men have to wait in line for the bathroom at Dolores Park

      

Things I like today

-Spam w scrambled eggs and rice on a camping trip

-Vienna Sausage fried up with rice and some ketchup

-Mitchell's Ube ice cream

-Ube ice cream in a toasted pan de sal

-vegetarian lasagna with lots of ricotta cheese

-duck confit

-ripe strawberries

-Blue Bottle latte

Time to commit to this blog thing

How did I become an Inadvertent Nun?  Well, I'm single and I don't hook up with anyone just to hook up and as a result I've been single for much longer than I'd like to share with the bloggersphere.  And I spend my days talking to God, thinking about how things to relate to God, and wearing a habit.  And by "habit" I mean Joe Jeans and a JCrew top with Chaco flips.  I didn't set out to become a Protestant Nun (thus the inadvertent part), but for now that's just how it is.  And for those of you who aren't sure.... there are no such things as Protestant Nuns (that I know of), but my life seems to fit the self-description.

As the recession goes it looks like I will be out of job in a couple months.  I run a faith-based non-profit that mobilizes adult volunteers to bring healthy role models to teens.  We are mainly dependent on private donors and as the state of the economy goes, people are holding their discretionary money close and giving has been down.  Down enough that I will have to find another means to make a living.  I'm hoping I can still help kids in the next gig.

So it looks like I will soon have more time to chillax and therefore blog.  Just a warning.

I guess it works

Testing the mobile blog thingy...

blocked

I've been sitting in front of my computer for days now.  I need to prepare 3 sermons for my friends retreat in San Diego.  The theme:  Loving God.

My tan from Molokai is long gone (although being brown skinned it's hard to tell) and my memories are only prolonged by pictures I have on my desktop and around my room.  How could I have such an incredible experience with God and now sit blankly, faced with the idea of sharing how to develop a deeper relationship with God?  I'm a little worried that I have nothing to say.  What have I shown for my relationship with God in the past 8 months that I've been back on the mainland?

What I can say is that I've had a much stronger trust that He loves me and wants to bless me more than ever before.  There are things I have been waiting on that would have caused me much stress before.  Now, I just sit and wait knowing that God met me on Molokai and that God will meet me today in Daly City.  

The edge of the unknown

I thought I was only going to blog on my sabbatical, but it seems that I have felt the urge to write more and more over the past couple months.  So I'm back jack!

Part of my reason for writing today is that I was overwhelmed with an all too familiar feeling lately.  I am a person who needs to know what the plan is.  I need to have a plan for my day, my week, my year.  I need to know what to expect so I can be emotionally prepared, mentally ready, and physically up for the task.  A lot of my stress is due to things that come up unplanned.  I am not a spontaneous person obviously.  In fact spontaneous people with no plans who like to live by the seat of their pants bug me.  It's not that it's wrong, it's just so opposite of who I am I can't comprehend living that way.  

Although the freewheeling folks bug me (I apologize if it's you and I'm being offensive but I'm about to redeem the statement), I realize that I have a lot to learn from them  as well.  Life is not something that can stay within the boundaries of a plan.  As the bumper sticker goes S*** happens.  It's a harsh way to speak of a harsh reality.  

I'm sitting in my room/office today thinking about how I don't know what the plan is for my life at this very moment.  The next few months are a guess to me.  The economy has crashed before it was even official and non-profits and ministries around me are closing up shop or laying off people.  Many of my friends are going to work wondering if they will be handed the pink slip that day.  This is not a time for certainty for much of our nation.

I find myself trying to live with an open hand.  By open hand I  mean living without holding on to what I think, what I want, what I fear.  If my hand is open then God can take my hand and lead me.  If it's closed, there's not much room for me to receive anything from God.  Worrying is easy, living with an open hand... that's tough.

It brings me to Oswald Chambers.  April 29 is my favorite date in "My Utmost for His Highest" because it speaks to the uptight planner in me.  Chambers writes, "Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life -- gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life.  To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, no knowing what tomorrow may bring...A soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises... The Spiritual life is the life of a child.  We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next... Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in-- but you can be certain that He will come.  Remain faithful to Him."